Caden O'Brien's Website » children’s writing http://www.cadenobrien.com Life's tough. It's even tougher if you're stupid. --John Wayne Thu, 11 Feb 2010 20:19:15 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 en hourly 1 Children Writing About the Ocean http://www.cadenobrien.com/2009/10/28/children-writing-about-the-ocean/ http://www.cadenobrien.com/2009/10/28/children-writing-about-the-ocean/#comments Wed, 28 Oct 2009 21:36:18 +0000 CadenO http://www.cadenobrien.com/?p=101
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]]> A friend sent me one of those humor emails today, and I have to share it. These are the writers of tomorrow, folks! Kids DO say the darndest things…

  1. This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly,  age 6)
  2. Oysters’ balls are called pearls. (Jerry, age 6)
  3. If you are  surrounded by ocean, you are an island.  If you don’t have ocean all  round you, you are incontinent. (Alex, age  7)
  4. Sharks are  ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson . She’s not my  friend any more.   (Kylie, age  6)
  5. A dolphin  breaths through an asshole on the top of its head. (Billy, age  8)
  6. My uncle goes out in his boat with 2 other men and a  woman and pots and comes back with crabs.  (Millie, age  6)
  7. When ships  had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes when  the wind didn’t blow the sailors would whistle to make the wind come.  My brother said they would have been better off eating beans.  (William,  age 7)
  8. Mermaids live in the ocean. I like mermaids. They are beautiful and I like  their shiny tails, but how on earth do mermaids get pregnant? Like,  really?   (Helen, age 6)
  9. I’m not going to write about the ocean. My baby  brother is always crying, my Dad keeps yelling at my Mom, and my big  sister  has just got pregnant, so I can’t think what to write. (Amy, age  6)
  10. Some fish  are dangerous. Jelly fish can sting.  Electric eels can give you a shock.  They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug  themselves in to chargers. (Christopher, age  7)
  11. When you  go swimming in the ocean, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small.  (Kevin, age 6)
  12. Divers have to be safe when they go under the water.  Divers can’t go  down alone, so they have to go down on each other.  (Becky, age  8)
  13. On  vacation my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she was going very fast.  She says she won’t do it again because water fired right up her big fat ass.  (Julie, age 7)
  14. The ocean is made up of water and fish.  Why the fish don’t drown I  don’t know.  (Bobby, age 6)
  15. My dad was a sailor on the ocean. He knows all about the ocean..  What he doesn’t know is why he quit being a sailor and  married my mom.   (James, age 7)

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