Why own a dog ? There’s a danger you know,
You can’t own just one, for the craving will grow.

There’s no doubt they’re addictive, wherein lies the danger,
While living with lots, you’ll grow poorer and stranger.

One dog is no trouble, and two are so funny,
The third one is easy, the fourth one’s a honey.

The fifth one delightful, the sixth one’s a breeze,
You find you can live with a houseful with ease.

So how ’bout another ? Would you really dare ?
They’re really quite easy but oh, Lord the hair !

With dogs on the sofa and dogs on the bed,
And crates in the kitchen, it’s no bother you’ve said.

They’re really no trouble, their manners are great,
What’s just one more dog and just one more crate ?

The sofa is hairy, the windows are crusty,
The floor is all footprints, the furniture dusty.

The housekeeping suffers, but what do you care ?
Who minds a few noseprints and a little more hair ?

So let’s keep a puppy, you can always find room,
And a little more time for the dust cloth and broom.

There’s hardly a limit to the dogs you can add,
The thought of a cutback sure makes you sad.

Each one is so special, so useful, so funny,
The vet, the food bill grows larger, you owe money.

Your folks never visit, few friends come to stay,
Except other dog folks, who all live the same way.

Your lawn has now died, and your shrubs are dead too,
But your weekends are busy, you’re off with your crew.

There’s dog food and vitamins, training and shots,
And entries and travel and motels which cost lots.

Is it worth it, you wonder ? Are you caught in a trap ?
Then that favorite dog comes and climbs in your lap.

His look says you’re special and you know that you will
Keep all of the critters in spite of the bill.

Some just for showing and some just to breed,
And some just for loving, they all fill a need.

But winter’s a hassle, the dogs hate it too,
But they must have their walks though they’re numb and you’re blue.

Late evening is awful, you scream and you shout
At the dogs on the sofa who refuse to go out.

The dogs and the dog shows, the travel, the thrills,
The work and the worry, the pressure, the bills.

The whole thing seems worth it, the dogs are your life,
They’re charming and funny and offset the strife.

Your lifestyle has changed. Things won’t be the same,
Yes, those dogs are addictive and so is the dog game !!

–Author unknown

1. This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly,  age 6)
2. Oysters’ balls are called pearls. (Jerry, age 6)
3. If you are  surrounded by ocean, you are an island.  If you don’t have ocean all  round you, you are incontinent. (Alex, age  7)
4. Sharks are  ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson . She’s not my  friend any more.   (Kylie, age  6)
5. A dolphin  breaths through an asshole on the top of its head. (Billy, age  8)
6. My uncle goes out in his boat with 2 other men and a  woman and pots and comes back with crabs.  (Millie, age  6)
7. When ships  had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes when  the wind didn’t blow the sailors would whistle to make the wind come.  My brother said they would have been better off eating beans.  (William,  age 7)
8. Mermaids live in the ocean. I like mermaids. They are beautiful and I like  their shiny tails, but how on earth do mermaids get pregnant? Like,  really?   (Helen, age 6)
9. I’m not going to write about the ocean. My baby  brother is always crying, my Dad keeps yelling at my Mom, and my big  sister  has just got pregnant, so I can’t think what to write. (Amy, age  6)
10. Some fish  are dangerous. Jelly fish can sting.  Electric eels can give you a shock.  They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug  themselves in to chargers. (Christopher, age  7)
11. When you  go swimming in the ocean, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small.  (Kevin, age 6)
12. Divers have to be safe when they go under the water.  Divers can’t go  down alone, so they have to go down on each other.  (Becky, age  8)
13. On  vacation my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she was going very fast.  She says she won’t do it again because water fired right up her big fat ass.  (Julie, age 7)
14. The ocean is made up of water and fish.  Why the fish don’t drown I  don’t know.  (Bobby, age 6)
15. My dad was a sailor on the ocean. He knows all about the ocean..  What he doesn’t know is why he quit being a sailor and  married my mom.   (James, age 7)